How to reach your goals by defeating self sabotage

When you keep making the same mistakes that block you from achieving something, and even take you to the opposite direction from you dream – consider the possibility that you might be sabotaging yourself. 

Does this sound familiar? You often…

  1. Forget an important deadline and put off all the work even if your job depends on it, because you fear a promotion that would give you too much responsibility. 
  2. Start many projects but never finish any of them. 
  3. Have great ideas but something stops you moving forward.

Self-sabotage is often driven by negative self-talk. You tell yourself that you are not good enough to achieve that goal. You think that you can’t do that, you don’t deserve it, and anyway you will certainly fail if you try. You might even hate yourself. Self sabotage is the basis of negative thoughts that are not based on truth. 

They are based on your perception.

Because of those negative ideas that are well established in your thinking patterns, you worry about failure, disappointing others, or hurting them if you have success.

In the end, this behaviour might lead you to become passive-aggressive or angry, guilty and frustrated, ashamed and depressed.

How To defeat self sabotage

To defeat self-sabotage, you need first to recognise it for what it is, by looking at all your failed goals and lack of motivation, your gross mistakes and procrastination in areas where you know you can do better. 

Look at them with compassion and curiosity.

Once you admit that something is not right, you can work with a professional to understand the root cause of your anger, anxiety, and feeling you don’t deserve success. 

Which emotions are leading you to block your own path? The ideas that cause self sabotage are irrational. Try to write them down when you notice you are procrastinating something important.

What beliefs are your ideas based on?

How did you form them? 

Once you know what originates your fear of success you can tackle it.

The first thing you need to do is to challenge these ideas by using positive affirmations – instead of saying to yourself ‘I can’t do that job today, I am just not fast enough’ try to say, ‘If I organise myself I can break this task into small tasks. I can do this.’

Your aim is to align your skills, your beliefs and your behaviour so you are in harmony with your true self and your blueprint.

To achieve that balance, there are three things that you can start doing right now.

  1. Ask yourself, ‘What can I tell myself that is positive and supports my goal?’
  2. Be your own coach. List on a piece of paper all the options you have and identify many ways of reaching your goals.
  3. If your goal is quite ambitious, break it down in small bits.  That way you can build your self confidence and the momentum to go all the way. Tell others about your goals. List a day and a time when you will take care of those tasks. Set reminders and then do it!

You might realise that procrastinating the very actions you need to achieve success you are also creating stress and anxiety. Therefore, look at what you have created by following those 3 simple steps. 

You now have the correct mindset to carry on all your tasks. You tell yourself that you have (or you are developing ) all the necessary skills and resources. You are not using negative self chatter, or criticising yourself as usual.

This is wonderful!

And once you get going, the energy will be with you to support you all the way. You can do this, my friend! I totally believe you can.

Let me know if you need more help in removing those blocks. Always happy to help!